Look What I Found...

My birth story that I wrote back in 2010 and never published! Better late than never.. Here's what I wrote..

I've been wanting so badly write and update everyone on our sweet, perfect, wonderful baby Axel! But, as I'm sure you can all imagine, finding time to sit and write everything I would like to say has been a little difficult! Right now my little monkey is asleep in my lap, making funny faces and cute smiles while he dreams.

I don't even know where to start to catch everyone up! Axel arrived, as planned on August 31st via c-section. We were scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 10:30am and the surgery was scheduled for 1:00pm. However, at 11:15am they wheeled me into the OR! I couldn't believe we were about to get started! Was I ready? I guess I had to be! Everything went great. The only scary part was the spinal block, and I don't even know why I was afraid of it, but something inside me just started to get a little freaked. Feeling my body go so numb was pretty crazy! I kept telling the doctors and anesthesiologist "I don't think I'm totally numb yet!...I can still feel pins and needles.. Hey.. guys.. I don't think I'm numb.." Then Jordan quietly told me that the first cut had already been made. I guess I was numb! It was weird feeling all the tugs and pulls, but not feeling any pain. Jordan got to watch pretty close as they cut deeper and deeper. At one point I heard him say "Oh man.. dark hair!!" and I knew my baby was almost out! They had a hard time getting his huge head out of the incision space. I think it took about 3 minutes! I could feel the doctor heaving and pushing down below my rib cage with what felt like all of his might! Again, I didn't feel much, but it did make me grunt a little. Suddenly everyone got really excited and a few seconds later I heard my baby cry! It's funny that as I write this it makes me cry, but at the time I remember just breathing hard and making this weird half cry half laughing noise. They showed him to me for a few seconds and then took him to be cleaned off. I immediately ordered Jordan to "follow that baby!" and not let him out of his sight! I can't even describe how I was feeling at this time. There was so much going on! The biggest thing I remember though was feeling like a huge weight was removed from me! It felt like my stomach was being deflated, and it felt good! I got to sort of hold Axel while they were stitching me up, but at this point I was starting to feel sort of groggy. It was so nice when they put him on my chest so I could really get a good look at him! It was definitely love at first sight!


About a half hour later, once I had been wheeled back into the mommy/baby unit, Jordan brought Axel into the room and I was able to HOLD him. Finally, HOLD HIM, and nurse him for the first time. He ate like a champ!


The entire time I was pregnant, I had people telling me all their birthing horror stories, or saying things like, "you just wait til he's out.. you'll be wishing he was back in" (totally NOT true!), but the funny thing is.. no one warned me about how hard nursing can be! Axel had a strong suck immediately, and after the first few latches I was in major pain! By the time I got home from the hospital I was crying every time I would nurse. Not fun! We saw the hospital lactation specialist a few days after we came home from the hospital and she saved my life! For anyone who has troubles nursing, I highly recommend a nipple shield. It is my best friend.

Fast forward to three weeks later...

We are finally starting to get the hang of things

..and the date has been set...

The verdict is in. I will be having a c-section. I guess this makes me sort of grateful that I was too lazy to come up with a definitive birth plan, and spend hours practicing my hypno-birthing breathing methods. Even before I got pregnant, I never even considered that I would end up with a c-section. I've been healthy, kept a low blood pressure (eliminating the idea of pre-ecclampsia which could result in a c-section), no placenta previa.. everything has been normal. Like I said before, at almost every appointment I would ask, "are you SURE I'm measuring normal" and was always told I was spot on! When we found out I am actually carrying George of the Jungle and the topic of c-section came up, I started to research it and find out more about recovery etc.. There are so many different opinions concerning a c-section vs. vaginal birth and I started to worry if I was just being selfish? Although I am not totally granola, I was hoping to try to do a natural vaginal birth. My reasons being, I was made to do this, I'll give it my best shot. I also have nothing against getting an epidural, if it came down to that, but I really wanted to try to do it natural. After talking with Jordan about everything, we decided that if the doctors think a c-section is what is best for the baby and myself, that is what we'll do. But, we'll consider all of our options. As the week has progressed I've been able to relax and be comfortable with whatever happens.

This morning, Jordan and I had an appointment with one of my doctors to discuss our next step. Basically, to c-section or not. My doctor basically said, "look, you have a BIG baby. If you want to labor naturally, we will do everything we can to make you comfortable and get this baby out. That said, you could labor for hours and ultimately need a c-section. If you want my professional opinion, I would say the safest thing for you and your baby is to schedule a c-section". He also went on to say that if this were my 2nd, 3rd, or 4th baby things would be different, but with this being my first, it could get pretty rough trying to get him out vaginally. I told him that I am confident that they will make the best decision, but do feel a little selfish getting a scheduled c-section. He made me feel a lot better by saying, "First of all, you're having a baby. So, you're not being selfish. Second, we would never put you in a situation that would be harmful. It's our job to keep yours and the babys best interest in mind". So, a c-section has been booked for this Tuesday, August 31st. I wont know what time until Monday afternoon, but I feel really good about the plan. If Axel decides to come before Tuesday, we'll still have a c-section. I am just grateful to have good doctors available to help me make the best choice for this baby. Being a first time mom, I can do plenty of research, but I don't know anything first hand. The thought of a baby this big is sort of mind boggling, but I am so anxious to meet him, and hold him, dress him, cuddle him, watch him play with his daddy, and mother him. Unless something happens in the meantime, I'll be back next week with pictures of our Axel!

Axel Update!

I think I start almost every post off by saying something to the effect of, "It's taken me forever to sit down and write". Yet, again.. this is the case. I can't even remember where I left off last time, but summer details aside, I have some news on our not-so-little baby Axel.

This past Tuesday I had my 38 week appointment with Dr. Evans. The morning of the appointment I was complaining to my mom, "I'm gonna sit in the waiting room for an hour and they probably wont even check me and I'll just go home for another week". Yes I know, poor poor pitiful me. Needless to say, I was wrong. I arrived at my appointment and was very promptly seen by the doctor. He DID check me and I am now dilated to a 3, 75% effaced, but baby is still sitting high at a station -3. The doctor decided it would be wise to do a biophysical profile. Basically this is just an ultrasound done to measure different parts of the baby, amniotic fluid levels, blood flow, etc.. Axel got an 8/8 (which is great), however after months and months of asking "are you SURE he's not measuring large?", my suspicions (and my mothers, and my mother-in-law, my aunt..) were confirmed. At my 38 week appointment, my baby is measuring at 41.5 weeks!! That's 3 WEEKS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE! On top of that, his estimated weight was 9.4lbs, which I was told isn't 100% accurate, and could be off by about 13oz, which they also think would be 13oz higher rather than lower. So I am most likely carrying a 9-10lb baby!

I scheduled another appointment for the following Monday (Aug. 30th), left the clinic, and called/text all my closest friends/family to share the BIG news (pun intended). Around 5pm that night I received a call from Dr. Evans. I guess he was looking over papers from the day and noticed the size results on the baby. He said that if I haven't had the baby by my Monday appointment, they would like to induce me because of the size, HOWEVER.. considering the size, and the fact that Axel is still sitting so high, he is worried that my pelvis is just too small for Axel to fit through, and that a c-section is likely. SOOOOO.... basically unless Axel decides to come sooner, if he's not here by Monday morning he'll definitely be here by Monday night or Tuesday. To be honest, it was really hard for me to wrap my head around the thought of a c-section at first. Throughout this pregnancy I've planned on having a vaginal delivery, watching my son come into the world, holding him immediately, and being mobile shortly after delivery. The thought of being cut open, stuck behind a curtain, and having to wait to be stitched up before I can even hold my baby, then having a 6 week recovery, sounds awful. After having a few days to think about everything, I am now thinking I might be more comfortable with a c-section. Especially if I may be pushing for hours only to have an inevitable c-section ANYWAYS. So, I'm just trying to figure it all out right now and relax and just let whatever is best for baby and mommy happen! Either way, it's nice knowing that there is an end in sight and that soon, I will be meeting my perfect baby boy!

7 Weeks and Counting...

The longer I go without updating this thing, the harder it is for me to come back. Like pretty much everything else in my life right now, writing on my blog seems like suuuuuch a haaaassle. But here I am, relaxed in bed and finally willing to write.

Today I am 33 weeks pregnant! Like I've said before, this pregnancy has been pretty easy considering the hormonal torture some women seem to endure, so I've been trying really hard not to complain. Well, as of last week the complaining has begun. Honestly, I don't know what is with me lately but I feel as though I have lost my mind! I leave the water running, I forget to turn the car off, I leave lights on, I can't think of normal every day words without getting super frustrated at my lack of a brain. I'm moody, achy, exhausted, and ready to have this baby! I don't know what has come over me. I've become such an emotional roller coaster in the past week. One minute I am grinning from ear to ear and the next I have the biggest scowl on my face. I've started crying over On*Star commercials, thoughtful compliments from strangers, relief society lessons, you name it. To top it all off, I've reached that point where I cannot for the life of me find a comfortable sleeping position. I LOVE my Axel-Baby-Belly, I do! But, I get into bed at night and remain comfortable on my left side for maybe 5 minutes. It takes me another 5 noisy sheet-swishing minutes to turn to my right side. There, that's pretty cozy... 20 seconds later I have to pee. It takes me one big heave and a little grunt to pull myself off the bed, spin my legs around and step to the floor, only to trip over the fan cord and usually side swipe a wall. I am a mess! However, I know that it is all totally worth it in the end, and I couldn't get through any of this without my supportive babe of a husband who keeps me laughing (when I'm not pouting over something he said), and feeling loved each and every second (each and every second that I'm not letting my hormones over exaggerate some harmless statement he has made and turn it into a personal attack on me).
Jordan has worked his little tushie off this entire semester, aiming for straight A's in some not-so-easy classes. He needs to be at the library most of the time that he isn't in classes so that he can study, and it totally pays off. He's getting incredible grades! Now that the summer has finally arrived, we've been going on walks or bike rides every night, and that has really helped relieve a lot of my pregnancy stress, and I sleep so much better!

A few weeks ago, one of my old roommates offered to do a maternity photo shoot for me. If anyone in the Eastern Idaho region is looking for an amazing photographer who actually offers decent rates, look no further than Whitney Kathleen! (www.whitneykathleen.com) I wish I could post all of the photos she took of me, but I have over 200 favorites!







Thank you so much Whitney!

I wish I had more to talk about, but things are pretty much normal around here right now. I'm trying to work as much as I can with both of my jobs (Image Skincare and Northstar Aesthetics) before the baby comes. I'm hoping to continue on with both jobs after little A arrives and I take a break with him for a month or so. Luckily, with Image I can do a lot of it from home, but Northstar might be a little difficult. I'm not sure how many of my permanent make up clients would like a baby in the room while a vibrating needle sits on the edge of their eyeball. We'll see how it goes though.

Next week we are going to California for the wedding of Jordans cousin. I'm so excited for this trip, but really weary of the 16 hour road trip to get there. All three of my doctors have advised me not to go, but if I don't go.. Jordan wont go, and that puts too much guilt on me! Hopefully Ryan and Paige don't get too frustrated with the frequent stops we'll be making to pee and move my legs. We'll also keep our fingers crossed that little A doesn't decide that his place of birth should be sunny California either because to be honest, I really don't want to foot the bill for an out-of-state delivery and hospital stay! Those are our biggest concerns with this trip, but hopefully all will go well.. no blood clots, and no pre-term labors and we're good!

I know, it's been FOREVER...

It's taken me forever to write another post, and the only excuse I have is I've been too lazy. There, I said it.

As of today I am just shy of 28 weeks pregnant. The remainder of the 2nd trimester was great and I am already feeling the third trimester woes. At my last appointment, the doctor informed me that my glucose levels were great (yay! No Gestational Diabetes), but I am dealing with some major anemia. This means 2 iron pills a day on TOP of my prenatals, and a stool softener. Great.. just when I was getting regular again. I guess this baby is sucking up all my iron. That's okay.. he needs it :) The nausea is coming back and it actually feels worse this time around than it was in the first few weeks of pregnancy. Heart burn has it me at full force, and I am always tired. My back aches, and my ankles hurt (although no cankles yet so I'm happy). Had enough of my complaints? Okay, I'm done. I actually feel bad complaining when there are women who have gone through symptoms far worse than mine, or women who would give anything to be pregnant right now.

Even through the small trials of this pregnancy, I feel so empowered to be carrying this sweet little boy. The idea of actually growing a child inside my body is mind-blowing. Sure, we all think about being pregnant, many of us have been pregnant (some of us several times), but sometimes when I stop and think about the miracle that is taking place, I am completely stunned. What a blessing, and how exhilarating it is to have such an important role in this life.

Axel's kicks are getting so strong! Sometimes I wonder if he is a really big baby, or if I'm just getting big. I feel like I'm growing more and more each day, and his movements get more obvious every day. My favorite thing is to lay on my side in bed. He must be losing his balance or something because he will always wiggle around and try to find a position. (That's what it feels like at least). I can even SEE his little body moving inside me like waves. The other day I pushed my thumb gently into my skin and he kicked me! It was so weird, but put the biggest smile on my face. Some days it feels like he doesn't stop moving and on these days his kicks start to feel a little uncomfortable after awhile, but I try to embrace them as I know I will miss it when he's not inside me anymore.

I can't tell you how lucky I feel to have a husband who is so comforting and supportive through everything. He may not understand why I get so excited about baby clothes and setting up Axel's room, (we'll be getting a crib next week and Jordan thinks I'm crazy to want to set it up right away..I disagree hehe), but he is my best friend and this pregnancy brings us closer and closer every single day. He's finally able to feel Axel's kicks and movements now and the look on his face when he feels that little bump is something that melts my heart completely. He is so supportive and helpful when I am in pain, or feeling the hormone blues, and he loves my pregnant body which makes me feel so beautiful! Sorry if that sounds corny, but c'mon ladies.. we all know that we get hard on ourselves.. even when we know we're supposed to be getting bigger and the scale is supposed to be climbing, it can be a hard adjustment on some days.

Throughout the pregnancy I've been toying with the thought of a natural birth. Towards the beginning I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it. I've heard so many people talk about how they really wanted to, but ended up having an epidural, and having never gone through anything like labor before, I have no idea how I will react, but I really want to try to do it natural. I've been doing a lot of research on hypnobirthing and am purchasing a book with cd's tonight on amazon.com. Some friends of ours used it for their last child and said it is incredible. If you haven't heard of hypnobirthing before, do not be weirded out by the name. I'm sure you're picturing Jordan standing over me with a swinging clock haha, but it's nothing like that. It's all about relaxation and meditation techniques to help you manage your pain. One article I read today said that we condition our minds to prepare for certain events. Unfortunately we pregnant women get to hear a lot of horror stories about labor and delivery. Sometimes it seems like other women can only one-up each other as they talk about how painful their deliveries were. When this is all we hear, it creates fear in our minds and the thought of labor/delivery without the aid of an epidural impossible. Again, I'm not saying I am iron woman (well, obviously not if I'm anemic) and that no matter what.. I'm doing it natural, but.. I am really hoping I can prepare myself to do it that way.

Anyways, that's pretty much all the news I have for now. As this pregnancy comes to an end (only 12 weeks left!) I'm sure I'll be posting more often.

21 Weeks, Heartburn, and a Special Thank You..

Yesterday marked my 21st week of pregnacy! My little Axel is kicking up a storm and I am starting to see some patterns in his wake and sleep cycles. I've been feeling him move around for the past 2 weeks now. I felt a little fluttering before, but now I'm really feeling those kicks and jabs. He seems to be most active if I drink Orange Juice, and around 6:45pm and 11:30pm. This morning he even woke me up with his kicks! It's so special being able to FEEL him, and know that he's okay. I feel like all his little movements are his way of saying "hi Mom..". (I know that's not really what's going on, but I like to think of it that way..).

I have been soooo lucky in this pregnancy. I never got morning sickness (aside of a little nausea and bloating in the beginning) and my tummy is (thus far) growing straight out instead of sideways, so I don't feel like a whale (yet). I guess I can't have it TOO easy though because a few nights ago I was hit with some horrible heartburn and it still hasn't gone away. Tum-t-tum-tums aren't doing a THING. I really hope it goes away. There, I'm finished complaining for the day.


My last note is a special Thank You to my dear Sister-in-Law Shalyse. Shalyse is Jordans oldest sister, and has the most adorable little girl in the entire world! Ever since I can remember Shalyse has always been smiling and laughing and so kind hearted. Today I received a letter in the mail from her, for no special reason.. just a letter that said some of the sweetest things I have heard in a long time. It actually made me cry! So, Shalyse.. Thank you so much for thinking of me, and for your kind words. They mean so much, you really have no idea! Watch your mailbox in the coming weeks :) I love you!

Axel's Closet...Somebody Stop Me!

We're all naturally drawn to baby clothes right? I mean, they're just too cute! Now that Axel is officially Axel, I can't stop thinking about my darling Son! I also can't keep my mind or hands off his future wardrobe! I've found some adorable items (all on sale) and I have to show them off. So here is Axel's closet thus far..



These are my latest finds and I can't wait to put them on him! The jeans are super soft on the inside, and the sweater is really soft too.

Grandma Ripp got him this adorable outfit at the GAP the other day! Thanks Mom!